Growing up, I always wanted siblings, especially as an only child. Being an only child is dreadfully lonely & isolating. I never knew what it would be like to be the older sister. Let alone if I would be good enough to hold that title. My sister and I are twenty years + five days apart. That is 7309 days, 22 hours & 9 minutes apart at this exact moment in time I am writing this. I can’t believe I waited that long for you Valentina!
As much pressure there is to be the older sibling, the one trying to set an example, the one being reliable, punctual + structured. I don’t feel I am most of this description. Although we didn’t grow up in the same house together under the same rules, and in completely different settings + lifestyles + eras in our mutual parents’ life, we only share one biological parent. Let alone would you say twenty years apart is “normal” or not. I can’t imagine my life without you, let alone how mundane it felt without you before!
You are my best friend, and I know we were meant to be sisters. You are the apple of my eye, Valentina.
Watching you grow up almost reminds me of how similar we are, especially how I was growing up. You are incredibly witty, I love how you are a Gemini sun just like I am, you are wild and free spirited just like I was. How quick you are in conversation; it doesn’t skip a beat. How inquisitive & curious you are. I love how unafraid you are to unapologetically be yourself. How confident + bright you are. How brave you are. How excited and eager you are to learn and share information you retain or the things you create at school.
How cute your catch phrases are growing up calling earmuffs “ear muffins”.
Even being so young how you always would quote;
“You are smart, you are important”.
I love how much adoration we share for sushi, even at your favorite spot Goldfish + all the friends you make everywhere we go because of how drawn your peers are to you & the excitement being your friend is like. You are the most kindhearted, warm, friendly, loving girl.
Your compassion to others around you never ceases to amaze me. I remember you were only about three or four. We were talking about my mother & how you know she isn’t here any longer physically. Even from such a young age. You told me “She is a star in the sky, she is still here”.
Even after driving home, I just thought to myself;
“How can someone so small understand the longing, yearning and hurt I feel, but still know she is still here, just in another form of a star”.
You have the biggest heart filled with compassion, sincerity, understanding & unconditional love.
This past year in 2024, you accomplished so much! You graduated from kindergarten to first grade; you lost a few teeth! Even the one you were brave enough to pull out on Halloween with dental floss tied to the doorknob. You got a big girl bike! You turned six years old! There is so much to write of your accomplishments everday, because how fast you are growing up. I am so proud of you.
I love the similarities to us, how tom-boy you can be, with your ninja star throwing kit you got for Christmas this year or going fishing with our father. But how girly you are with how maintained & manicured your nails are always painted with your favorite colors by your mother, dressing up in your Cinderella sparkling blue ball gown you wore for our sisters fifteenth birthday, with your straight across bangs you always ask her to cut as well. I like to think you enjoy having them just as much as I do. I always had bangs as well.
All my friends say we look a lot alike when they see photos of you. Being around you reminds me; girlhood is such a short period of time. How pivotal of a time it is. How I wish I could protect you from this cruel & cold world. What it is like to grow up, how you see this big world at only six years old.
This year, you will be seven, and I will be twenty-seven.
I know you have a lot of interests & past times right now, it is so exciting to think how they will change, the person you will become, who will inspire you, your hopes and dreams for your future. I will be there for the ride. I hope you know I will always be there by your side. How lucky I am to know you and be apart of your life. How important to me you are. Thank you for teaching me so much, and loving me.
I know I am just your crazy older sister, but I hope one day you look up to me just as much as I look up to you Miss Valentina.
